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Safety

Mar. 14th, 2016 08:25 am
mrsbrown: (tent)
[personal profile] mrsbrown
 My dream this morning was about finding a safe place to give birth.

There was a monster/demon looking for me and they needed me before I had given birth.  I was at Festival and a midwife agreed to find me a quiet space at the hospital, with the right people around me.  People who could protect me from the demon.

We found the spot. I was a bit exposed, near the front entrance and the Bishop came.  I asked "why him" and the midwife spoke of her faith.  When I turned  to tell him to go, he was gone.  The others came and talked of their skills and we set up a curtain to screen me from the entrance.

Time passed and I had the urge to leave.  I knew the midwife was the wrong person so I secretly left with my companion and the demon fighting equipment.  We walked through the linear park.  I was heading for the dog enclosure, a place surrounded by trees.

I heard something coming behind us and I started running and we missed the access to my preferred destination and ended up in the tunnels.  After running for a while more

We chose the exit and looked back where we saw the midwife sitting, waiting.  We ignored her and headed for the trees.  I sat and, while I wasn't in pain, knew that it wasn't long before I gave birth.  A woolly alpaca type animal came over, but ignored me and addressed something behind a large tree.  While that was happening, a larger than life, godlike person came to me and insisted on checking my blood pressure and birth progress. (It's ok, no vaginal exam).  As she finished the alpaca ran forward and killed the invisible monster hiding behind the tree.

I was pretty happy.  There were trees around and I could give birth.  I started feeding apples into the processor.


There was also a meeting with my prospective birth attendants in a restaurant.  A real life acquaintance was there with her daughter and I made several attempts to get her to be interested in the reason I was there.  I even found a picture story book with Violent Femmes lyrics for her daughter, but it wouldn't work, I couldn't get her to pay me attention.

I think this dream is about safety and how I don't feel safe right now.  About how my safety and value as a member of the sca community was attacked yesterday in my interactions of facebook.  I had four negative interactions and I'm feeling sufficiently fragile that they hit me really hard and made me dream about my safety in that environment.



sss
I wish people would acknowledge the good intentions that people have, rather than putting them straight into the "authenticity nazi" bucket.


I'm feeling a bit better that I was able to be safe, and also about the re-birth aspects.  Also amused that when I had found a safe place I was able to grate apples.
There

Date: 2016-03-16 11:17 am (UTC)
sjkasabi: picture of a woman in a green dress from a 13th century manuscript (Default)
From: [personal profile] sjkasabi
Oh dear, just read this. What were the incidents? Was one of them the stroller thing? I took a deep breath and moved on but it was hard.

What would make you feel safe?

And what do you think you are giving birth to? (Hedgerow? Because yes, my brain is refusing to deal with that atm)
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