Oct. 1st, 2016 08:07 am
mrsbrown: (Default)
[personal profile] mrsbrown
 I've been thinking this week about leadership, or possibly more correctly, getting people to do what I want them to.

I've been feeling the impotent annoyance that I remember feeling in the weeks before I stepped up as Baroness.  In particular, an incident when I arrived at Monthly Bash and saw a rabble of people not sure what to do.  I made my suggestions and was ignored.  it was super annoying and I remember the feeling of frustration and the almost shrill voice in my head as I raged internally about people not listening to my sensible suggestions/requests. I think I felt a bit invisible too.

My memory says that a week later, the day after our investiture, I arrived at the Sunday Tourney site to a similar rabble of people.  I was greeted enthusiastically by the people present, who bowed and nodded, "Your Excellency!".  I walked over, took stock and asked people to help unload the car, directed where the tourney field should be and got people involved in setting up the sunshade.  It was wonderful and I spent the following week reflecting on the difference and what made people listen to obey me one week  after comprehensively ignoring me.

A couple of years later, I watched my Boss designate a person  (N) I thought too young as his successor and 2 months later my Boss left on extended sick leave and died of a brain tumour.  Everyone in the company happily did as N directed, even while she confided in me that she didn't want to be the person solely responsible.  N was, in fact, great and I was happy to follow her.

I decided that it had to do with people wanting a designated leader. Someone who is anointed or named in some way as the leader.  As soon as they have, I guess they can stop worrying about deciding it for themselves and get on with just doing whatever the leader says that's basically reasonable. It's a successful approach, because most times doing something is a better option than angsting about what to do, so it's hard for a leader to get it wrong.

Oh, that's why H has set himself up as the "captain" of his pirate ship.  It automatically makes him the leader.  I wonder what equivalent I could adopt?  Would it work for a nearly fifty grey haired old lady?  Would it get me what I want?

Alternatively I need to work on the charisma side of the leadership thing, or borrow someone else's charisma.

Date: 2016-10-01 07:29 am (UTC)
etfb: (Default)
From: [personal profile] etfb
People tell me I have charisma, which alarms me because (a) I don't think I fit the definition at all and (b) I'm immediately suspicious of charisma in other people. However, I've been Kingdom Herald and seen how people respond to me in that official position, and I don't think it's sharply different to how they responded before and since, so if the two options are official authority or charisma then the latter would seem to be the logical fit. My theory is that there's a third option: apparent authority. That is: I sound like I know what I'm talking about (within certain specific areas) and I have the chutzpah (or arrogance) to behave as if I'm in charge, so reality obligingly warps around me and lets me be in charge because it's easier than arguing with an ego as big as mine. Is that something you can do? Because I don't think it's the same thing as charisma, but it might be easier to arrange.

Date: 2016-10-01 09:58 pm (UTC)
sjkasabi: picture of a woman in a green dress from a 13th century manuscript (Default)
From: [personal profile] sjkasabi
Authority and leadership, different comcepts.

I'm probably being yoo obvious, but if you want people to respond to you as if you were a designated authority, you need to find a bunch of people prepared to play the followers and also give yourself a title.

You are probably also experiencing what you are because you used to get considered as the de facto leader of Abbotsford, but it's not a thing anymore, so you're not the leader.

Date: 2016-10-08 07:55 am (UTC)
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