I've been feeling the impotent annoyance that I remember feeling in the weeks before I stepped up as Baroness. In particular, an incident when I arrived at Monthly Bash and saw a rabble of people not sure what to do. I made my suggestions and was ignored. it was super annoying and I remember the feeling of frustration and the almost shrill voice in my head as I raged internally about people not listening to my sensible suggestions/requests. I think I felt a bit invisible too.
My memory says that a week later, the day after our investiture, I arrived at the Sunday Tourney site to a similar rabble of people. I was greeted enthusiastically by the people present, who bowed and nodded, "Your Excellency!". I walked over, took stock and asked people to help unload the car, directed where the tourney field should be and got people involved in setting up the sunshade. It was wonderful and I spent the following week reflecting on the difference and what made people
A couple of years later, I watched my Boss designate a person (N) I thought too young as his successor and 2 months later my Boss left on extended sick leave and died of a brain tumour. Everyone in the company happily did as N directed, even while she confided in me that she didn't want to be the person solely responsible. N was, in fact, great and I was happy to follow her.
I decided that it had to do with people wanting a designated leader. Someone who is anointed or named in some way as the leader. As soon as they have, I guess they can stop worrying about deciding it for themselves and get on with just doing whatever the leader says that's basically reasonable. It's a successful approach, because most times doing something is a better option than angsting about what to do, so it's hard for a leader to get it wrong.
Oh, that's why H has set himself up as the "captain" of his pirate ship. It automatically makes him the leader. I wonder what equivalent I could adopt? Would it work for a nearly fifty grey haired old lady? Would it get me what I want?
Alternatively I need to work on the charisma side of the leadership thing, or borrow someone else's charisma.