2023-02-24

mrsbrown: (domestic goddess)
2023-02-24 08:43 am
Entry tags:

Just do the thing?

 This stressy feeling is about not being able to quieten my brain about all the things I need to do and be worried about. I usually manage it with compartmentalization, but because I've let loose the floodgates of acknowledging that I have a lot on, I'm constantly checking to see if there's a thing on my list that I could be doing in the quiet time.
Wierdly, I associate this feeling with the huge productivity I've had in periods of my life - the degree and small children, baronessing while working full-time, but this time I don't have many external constraints on my compartments, so they bleed and I'm stressed about all of them at the same time. I'm also super wary of triggering the anxiety spike/burnout experience I had in 2015 and 2016. I don't have time for that shit.
I can admit that I have some extra burden this week - top of that list is mrbassman having shingles and needing me to take on the housework/shopping duties that are normally his, but also Rose hitting her stress limits so that I have to either let go of the homework regime I was pretty proud of, or change the approach.
It's that thing where the stress makes it harder to do the thing, but your stress reduces when you achieve it. Gah!