tag:dreamwidth.org,2009-05-04:264271 more stuff than life mrsbrown 2012-01-01T20:30:15Z tag:dreamwidth.org,2009-05-04:264271:289188 2012-01-01T20:30:15Z 2012-01-01T20:30:15Z public 1 I like what fighting does to my body.&nbsp; I like doing an exercise that involves my muscles and my head.&nbsp; I like showing off my bruises, and even just knowing they're there.<br /><br />I hate the second guessing of myself that I constantly do around fighting; will I&nbsp;get into armour tonight? will I&nbsp;get overheated? do I feel comfortable playing with this person, or that?&nbsp; Will I&nbsp;be overwhelmed by other people's enthusiasm? Do I&nbsp;want to?<br /><br />I&nbsp;should be fighting when I want to.&nbsp; When the joy in the activity drags me to my armour and makes me put it on.&nbsp; But I need to keep a certain level of fitness and practise to have a chance of feeling that joy.&nbsp; I won't ever feel it if I'm not fit enough to cope, so I need to make myself do it often enough that I can keep having a good time.<br /><br />I've thought it before when contemplating this issue - I give myself too many options.&nbsp; Some things need to be done regardless of how I'm feeling, or who's there, or what my armour looks like.<br /><br />Enough angst for today - I'll just get on with it.&nbsp; Until next time.<br /><br /><img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=mrsbrown&ditemid=289188" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> comments