![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
I did an Outward Bound course when I was 29. It was really hard. I was reasonably unfit and hadn't spent much time on my own for a long time.
On the last day of our first 5 day hike I was almost done in. I was feeling terrible for insisting that we stop for 5 min every 30min, but also needed it. I had blisters and we'd been walking for about 10 hours a day. Then the leader took my hand and I felt my body language change. My shoulders went back and I found it much easier to keep up with the group.
I reflected on that experience for years. I told people the story and the lesson I took from that experience. No one contradicted me.
And then I told someone new and she interrupted before I could tell her the lesson I had taken. She said, "you should ask for help when you need it".
I spent 5 years thinking that I should make myself less reliant on other people for my emotional well-being. That I should cultivate an inner strength that could deal with whatever came up. I prefer the second lesson.
On the last day of our first 5 day hike I was almost done in. I was feeling terrible for insisting that we stop for 5 min every 30min, but also needed it. I had blisters and we'd been walking for about 10 hours a day. Then the leader took my hand and I felt my body language change. My shoulders went back and I found it much easier to keep up with the group.
I reflected on that experience for years. I told people the story and the lesson I took from that experience. No one contradicted me.
And then I told someone new and she interrupted before I could tell her the lesson I had taken. She said, "you should ask for help when you need it".
I spent 5 years thinking that I should make myself less reliant on other people for my emotional well-being. That I should cultivate an inner strength that could deal with whatever came up. I prefer the second lesson.
