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mrsbrownA friend announced publicly this morning that her 19 year old son had died in a car accident last night. I didn't know him, but I'm sitting here crying and unable to stop. I think some of my grief is my hormones talking - you're more of a mother when you have a small baby and other people's mother grief affects you more, which doesn't really change the fact that I feel awful. I also keep thinking that her son could so easily be my son, and I cry some more.
Honestly, she's not so much a friend as a special acquaintance. She and I are some of the few local people in the SCA who have teenage/older children we talk about them and our child rearing together. When I see her I'm always pleased, and I enjoy and seek out her company. But I don't really know her, and I don't do the things I normally do with friends - although now I'm aching to do the things friends do.
This woman will be inundated with people who want to do something. She's loved by many, many people, and they'll all want to do something with their grief too.
So, while I want to do something today (to make me feel better) I'll go to the funeral and I'll wait for a while and keep my eyes open. It'll be harder in a few weeks, when others turn to get on with their lives. I think that's when I can best use this feeling.
Honestly, she's not so much a friend as a special acquaintance. She and I are some of the few local people in the SCA who have teenage/older children we talk about them and our child rearing together. When I see her I'm always pleased, and I enjoy and seek out her company. But I don't really know her, and I don't do the things I normally do with friends - although now I'm aching to do the things friends do.
This woman will be inundated with people who want to do something. She's loved by many, many people, and they'll all want to do something with their grief too.
So, while I want to do something today (to make me feel better) I'll go to the funeral and I'll wait for a while and keep my eyes open. It'll be harder in a few weeks, when others turn to get on with their lives. I think that's when I can best use this feeling.
