I hate homework
May. 31st, 2006 08:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mrsbrownI've never been particularly good at doing homework. I passed Year 12 because I couldn't imagine doing anything else and so I pulled my finger out rather spectacularly in about September for exams and hand in of final work in November.
I'm really bad at the modern way of homework where parents get involved, encourage their children to develop, "good study habits" are are generally supportive. I really hate it when my children's homework gets in the way of us sprawling on the couch together and watching TV and I've never really succeeded at developing a routine that includes music practice and homework. There are always good reasons to stop, "for just tonight" whenever I manage it for more than three nights in a row.
I particularly hate T's attitude to homework and school. She doesn't do it. I get into "good parent" mode too late and then she sits and stares at the homework with the pressure of, "I have to finish this essay tonight because it's due tomorrow and I haven't started it." I could do that as a teenager. I would just sit down, do a couple of hours before I collapsed with tiredness at about 11.30pm, get up at 4.30am if necessary and finish it off in the train on the way to school.'
T throws all of her books across the room, storms out and slams the door. Then she'll come back and we'll talk about it for a bit. I'll ask her to visualise finishing it, goad her into thinking about what it would mean if she started it etc. And then she throws something else across the room, storms out and slams the door.
We do this at least once each term, for at least 3 of her assignments.
Once, I got her to sit down and do one question of an assignment. She'd throw a tanty and storm off, come back and I'd goad her to answer another question. This repeated all evening and she had a set of single word answers to an english sheet. Amusingly, her teacher brought it out at the parent teacher interviews and suggested that T's work was of a poor standard. I'd be very pleased if T did enough work for it to be considered and found to be poor. She's just constantly overwhelmed by it.
Honestly, she's been better this year than last. And last year was better than the year before. But it's still tedious and I can't help feeling that I'm part of the problem. I go all reasonable and suggest that what she's doing isn't hard at all, if only she approached it the way I would. I say, "write down the question" and "just do the bits you can do, then look at the ones you're having trouble with" and, when she has to write an essay, "Don't sit down to write the whole essay, write a list of the things you need to put in it".
Maybe I should be more like my mum, who took no responsibility for my homework until my final year of school when she started saying, "shouldn't you be doing some homework" and dropped it as soon as I told her I had it under control. I always felt responsible for my own relationships and performance at school, and just did whatever work I did and worked out that I preferred the feeling I had when I handed stuff in, than when I had to explain to a teacher that I hadn't done it. That's my justification for my lack of routine, but honestly, it's because I'm crap at homework.
So, should I let her watch tv after having the essay tantrum?
I'm really bad at the modern way of homework where parents get involved, encourage their children to develop, "good study habits" are are generally supportive. I really hate it when my children's homework gets in the way of us sprawling on the couch together and watching TV and I've never really succeeded at developing a routine that includes music practice and homework. There are always good reasons to stop, "for just tonight" whenever I manage it for more than three nights in a row.
I particularly hate T's attitude to homework and school. She doesn't do it. I get into "good parent" mode too late and then she sits and stares at the homework with the pressure of, "I have to finish this essay tonight because it's due tomorrow and I haven't started it." I could do that as a teenager. I would just sit down, do a couple of hours before I collapsed with tiredness at about 11.30pm, get up at 4.30am if necessary and finish it off in the train on the way to school.'
T throws all of her books across the room, storms out and slams the door. Then she'll come back and we'll talk about it for a bit. I'll ask her to visualise finishing it, goad her into thinking about what it would mean if she started it etc. And then she throws something else across the room, storms out and slams the door.
We do this at least once each term, for at least 3 of her assignments.
Once, I got her to sit down and do one question of an assignment. She'd throw a tanty and storm off, come back and I'd goad her to answer another question. This repeated all evening and she had a set of single word answers to an english sheet. Amusingly, her teacher brought it out at the parent teacher interviews and suggested that T's work was of a poor standard. I'd be very pleased if T did enough work for it to be considered and found to be poor. She's just constantly overwhelmed by it.
Honestly, she's been better this year than last. And last year was better than the year before. But it's still tedious and I can't help feeling that I'm part of the problem. I go all reasonable and suggest that what she's doing isn't hard at all, if only she approached it the way I would. I say, "write down the question" and "just do the bits you can do, then look at the ones you're having trouble with" and, when she has to write an essay, "Don't sit down to write the whole essay, write a list of the things you need to put in it".
Maybe I should be more like my mum, who took no responsibility for my homework until my final year of school when she started saying, "shouldn't you be doing some homework" and dropped it as soon as I told her I had it under control. I always felt responsible for my own relationships and performance at school, and just did whatever work I did and worked out that I preferred the feeling I had when I handed stuff in, than when I had to explain to a teacher that I hadn't done it. That's my justification for my lack of routine, but honestly, it's because I'm crap at homework.
So, should I let her watch tv after having the essay tantrum?
