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Dec. 11th, 2006 01:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mrsbrownI was reading this article and I noticed the following paragraph:
The Balancing Work and Family report demonstrates how our identities and sense of self are grounded in the job we do, not who we are. When you are asked what you do, you don't answer that you are a mother or a husband. You say you are a lawyer, a builder; you define yourself by your work.
It resonates with me in a way that I suspect was not intended by the author.
I don't just define myself by my work, I identify as an engineer and a mother, and, lately, I've started identifying as Baroness Stormhold. Unfortunately, when people ask about who I am, or what I do, I'm not supposed to tell them about the Baroness part of me. I'm not very good at that. Worse, I'm a lot like Basil Fawlty when the Germans visit, it spews out of me in inappropriate ways.
How can I acknowledge my other self as I go about my daily life, without coming across as a crazy person and without undermining it's importance to me?
I'm guessing this isn't a problem unique to me. How do people who are proud of their peerages, or winning crown manage this stuff?
BTW I also like this article for pointing out that a report that is supposed to be about work-life balance mainly addresses how to get people working more. The author also suggests that government isn't forward thinking enough about ways to influence society, instead of just work or childcare practices.
The Balancing Work and Family report demonstrates how our identities and sense of self are grounded in the job we do, not who we are. When you are asked what you do, you don't answer that you are a mother or a husband. You say you are a lawyer, a builder; you define yourself by your work.
It resonates with me in a way that I suspect was not intended by the author.
I don't just define myself by my work, I identify as an engineer and a mother, and, lately, I've started identifying as Baroness Stormhold. Unfortunately, when people ask about who I am, or what I do, I'm not supposed to tell them about the Baroness part of me. I'm not very good at that. Worse, I'm a lot like Basil Fawlty when the Germans visit, it spews out of me in inappropriate ways.
How can I acknowledge my other self as I go about my daily life, without coming across as a crazy person and without undermining it's importance to me?
I'm guessing this isn't a problem unique to me. How do people who are proud of their peerages, or winning crown manage this stuff?
BTW I also like this article for pointing out that a report that is supposed to be about work-life balance mainly addresses how to get people working more. The author also suggests that government isn't forward thinking enough about ways to influence society, instead of just work or childcare practices.
no subject
Date: 2006-12-11 10:06 am (UTC)By 1) using currently fashionable jargon that people automatically approve of to describe what being Baroness Stormhold actually involves. I.e., you're the head of the local chapter of a living history club that does a lot of educational work and has a community-building focus. It's main attraction to you as a hobby is the fact that it provides structured environment for pursuing a range of craft activities. Your office in the local group also means you have a leadership role at regional and national levels of the club.(very useful at work)
Or 2) picking on the actual stuff you're enthusing about that comes with being baroness, and again, using language to describe it that people feel positive about, and not looking embarrassed when you describe it. So, hey, you're making a beautiful costume, using some heritage sewing techniques! You've just co-ordinated people into organising a banquet for 80! Etc! (YOu do this all the time anyway:).
no subject
Date: 2006-12-12 12:48 am (UTC)That's a great way of using language.
I was astounded by the amazingly positive reaction I go from a masters tutorial (tutorial(s), since I ended up jabbering on for 2 sessions that both ran overtime!) when I explained about the SCA.
I started along the more relevant, creative aspects and then was bombarded with questions. I never candy coated. In fact I was probably over brutal when explaining some of the more dubious aspects.
The Lecturer pretty much begged me to change the direction of my research to include the SCA!