clarification
Feb. 15th, 2004 09:11 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mrsbrownThe deal about Z's birth isn't really super traumatic for me - any more.
It's just that it's an old wound, that when I relive it gets me upset. Yesterday I thought about it like this: If I had had a serious car accident, it would not be strange if I avoided the place where the car accident happened. Even 11 years later, I would expect that my heart would beat faster when I went by.
I'm not a very self-disciplined person. Making myself work hard/consistantly at anything, particularly physical stuff, has always been my greatest challenge. Riding my bike up a hill fits in this category and doing it with the emotional distraction of the Z thing has been too hard - I think. So I stopped riding.
I haven't decided what I'm going to do about it.
It's just that it's an old wound, that when I relive it gets me upset. Yesterday I thought about it like this: If I had had a serious car accident, it would not be strange if I avoided the place where the car accident happened. Even 11 years later, I would expect that my heart would beat faster when I went by.
I'm not a very self-disciplined person. Making myself work hard/consistantly at anything, particularly physical stuff, has always been my greatest challenge. Riding my bike up a hill fits in this category and doing it with the emotional distraction of the Z thing has been too hard - I think. So I stopped riding.
I haven't decided what I'm going to do about it.
