a bit of self hate

[mrsbrown]

That's the title I came up with on my bike ride home as I mentally made the list of things I hate about me and what I do.

I hate that I have the attention span of a gnat and the only way I can do big projects is if I capture my initial enthusiasm and get far enough into it that I've either sucked a bunch of friends into pulling me along, or nearly finished.

I hate that I can't do that with renovating my house and that I'm perpetually coming up with a different project I want to work on "right now!"

I hate the fact that everytime I think I'm going to have the time/headspace to spend six months resolving my house renovation, I come up with another SCA project that seems like more fun - until I'm sick of it or it's finished and I realise that I haven't got a renovated house yet.

Oh well, off to lie on the couch watching dumb Friday night TV and feeding Rose to sleep.

See you in the morning when I'm feeling better.

Comments

[montjoye.livejournal.com]

Please don't hate yourself. You do heaps of stuff. Renovating is hard, you know that. It is why I haven't done much this last couple years except reno I suppose. I realised recently that I wouldn't get my new bathroom except by deciding to focus on it- project # 1 for a bit. I also don't have a family to disrupt by renovating. You and mrbassman did good things with the lounge when you less people to worry about.

[mishymoocow-2.livejournal.com]

I'm not clear whether I'm being invited to give the counter-argument or agree?

It's your blog and you can grumble if you want to, but I feel uncomfortable with how comfortable you are talking about "self-hate". Like it's a cosy place you're well used to.

Besides, it sounds more like dissatisfaction with your CIRCUMSTANCES, not your SELF.

I don't want to finish the project I feel I SHOULD want to do, because I'd rather do the FUN project I DO want to do. Hmmm.... who else do I know feels that way about stuff? O wait, that would be me and everyone else in the whole wide world.

You seem really down. Which sucks. I hope you get some rest, some love, and maybe some time off from your responsibilities.