What's harder than breastfeeding?

[mrsbrown]

Today I hit the "sometimes it's too hard to breastfeed" line in the comments to someone else's blog and I'm obviously still having trouble believing it.

I responded once, but I'm not going to keep going as it would be rude.  Besides, my point was not that breasteeding is easy, but that our society fails to support women adequately and we should change society.

*deletes disrespectful, unclear rave about stuff that would be harder than the physical act of feeding a baby, that has haunted me all night*

I come from a place of breastfeeding privilege.  My first memory is of my mother feeding my sister.  My later memories include breastfeeding my doll while my aunt fed my cousin.  I'm 3rd eldest of a group of 16 cousins and I don't remember baby bottles being part of what you do with babies. 

When I was pregnant for the first time my mother took me to visit her friend in hospital who had just had a baby.  She told me that she'd found it an incredibly sensual experience.  Even in my choice of parther, I was lucky.  He had a similar level of breasfteeding normality privilege - including two younger siblings who were breastfed in his presence when he was 7.

Then when I had my baby it was normal to stay in hospital for 5 days and of course I was 19.  I had no idea of what could go wrong.

Breastfeeding is a physical skill, on a par with ballroom dancing or learning to read.  That bit's not hard.

Modifying society so everyone has the same perception of breastfeeding that I have - that's hard.

Comments

[tangent_woman]

I agree that there'd be vastly more breast feeding done if it were more supported as "just what you do". The formula pushers have done a proper nasty job of medicalising the nutrition of infants, but I do not think that the words "sometimes it's too hard to breastfeed" are entirely refutable.

When breast feeding goes okay, your list is pretty fair. Comparable to my experience, I'd agree. But I had a very straight-forward time of it and consider myself lucky. Some people are not so lucky and before bottle feeding, their version of your "comparable task list would only apply if you add "whilst wearing weighted nipple clamps on the cracked and bleeding nipples of mastitic breasts".

Didn't many babies survive by being fed by another woman, fed on goat's milk or other substitute? And didn't plenty of babies die? Sometimes breast feeding isn't only too hard, it is impossible. Is that the distinction you are drawing? I have a feeling I'm missing something.

[tangent_woman]

Cool -- I'm just getting used to the term "privilege" and you've pointed out that privilege is the thing that sees me hanging back thinking "I had it easy so it's not my place to judge" even when feeling the darkest twist of dismay when a new mother is struggling to breast feed. I hush the cynical voice of exasperation that snaps; "It isn't that hard!"

I recognise that I am coming from a position of privilege, but I did not have the terminology to explain that stance.

I can see that I not only have privilege of lactating superbly and having cluey babies, but even in the absence of any breastfeeding exemplars around me before I had my first child, I have the "privilege" of being accustomed to being regarded as weird and stubborn. People who knew me knew better than to try to impose their will on me with regard to breast feeding because they knew I would just keep doing what I wanted to do regardless.

I realised this when watching a lady trying to establish breast feeding under difficult circumstances, and witnessing the psychological attacks that the bottle-feeding brigade carried out against her. She was sensitive to social pressure, where I would have been oblivious or unconcerned. (I've veered off topic, but it's odd to notice a flaw serving as privilege.)

[inspiral_rose]

totally agree -- & am typing one-handed cos i'm bfing right now. I grew up with bottles, was weaned at 3mths, twin sisters weaned earlier... but I'm still bfing my 8mth old and intend to keep doing so. Def need more societal support!