That SCA crisis thing

[mrsbrown]

Years ago, I read that being idealistic about a thing means that the feelings when the thing fails to deliver the thing are much stronger. It was in the context of sustainability consultants (like me) giving up on consulting because the developers we work with are more interested in money than saving the planet. It was a useful concept because it meant that I could develop a coping mechanism and focus on achieving my ideals without expecting that anyone else would buy into them.

I'm pretty sure that's what going on for me with the SCA at the moment and I'm thinking about the ideals I have about the SCA;

• The SCA is a community. A community whose members care about the other people in the community and help them.
• The SCA is a place where I am safe to be me in a world where I often suffer for being different.
• The SCA is a place where I can investigate new things and have an instant group of people be interested and helpful about me achieving my goals.
• The SCA is a place where I can use my skills and interests to help me feel clever and appreciated.

So, I can intellectually look at this list and be aware that the SCA is a pack of human beings that do all of the same things that shit groups of human beings do, but I've just left a period in my life where, actually, most of this was true and I'm having a hard time adjusting to reality.

And, in particular, I've recently had at least 3 of these ideals proven to be unreasonable expectations so I'm feeling pretty shit about the SCA right now.  

This has been prompted by 3 things:

1. somebody on facebook saying that she didn't want to be a laurel when she really meant she didn't want to be a dick.  And taking it personally because i have spent a lot of personal energy working to make stuff a bit more period and then been accused of being a laurel, as if it meant the same as being a dick.  Yes, I get the same bullshit as laurels do, without any of the "glory"
2. I asked for hardship pricing for an event on behalf of some friends who I thing are really deserving and was completely refused.  Not even a $10 discount.
3. I've been effectively bullied by a several people who think that complaining about me/my views (that aren't even my actual views) to my daughter means that I won't hear about it.

Comments

[montjoye]

I'm sad you feel like this. I also have issues but different ones. Some are related I think in that they relate to the SCA getting so very big.

Thanks for #1. Makes that post make more sense to me.

I hope I'm not guilty of #3. Apologies if so.