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It's 10pm - I hate it all
Jul. 3rd, 2004 10:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mrsbrownI hate cleaning up.
I hate cleaning up with an audience. I feel self conscious about sitting down to contemplate every 10 min. I hear my mum's voice, "Come on! What's next?" As if she doesn't know, but I always know she's really just trying to keep me involved, keep me moving, at her pace. I hate it.
I hate the way other people have more stamina for the process, they just keep going. I have to sit down, to take a rest from the mental push required to keep myself going. I do it the hard way, I know, and I don't know how to change it.
My best cleaning up has been on my Domestication Thursdays, when G was small and I worked out I needed to spend one day a week, of my busy playgroup social life at home, being domestic. Doing only the cleaning I wanted to do, with no-one else setting the agenda. It was just me and him, and I developed a rhythm, a routine that just worked. Every Thursday, the same process, the same music - up REALLY loud, and the same result - a feeling of satisfaction at drawing the line and achieving it.
I hate cleaning up with an audience. I feel self conscious about sitting down to contemplate every 10 min. I hear my mum's voice, "Come on! What's next?" As if she doesn't know, but I always know she's really just trying to keep me involved, keep me moving, at her pace. I hate it.
I hate the way other people have more stamina for the process, they just keep going. I have to sit down, to take a rest from the mental push required to keep myself going. I do it the hard way, I know, and I don't know how to change it.
My best cleaning up has been on my Domestication Thursdays, when G was small and I worked out I needed to spend one day a week, of my busy playgroup social life at home, being domestic. Doing only the cleaning I wanted to do, with no-one else setting the agenda. It was just me and him, and I developed a rhythm, a routine that just worked. Every Thursday, the same process, the same music - up REALLY loud, and the same result - a feeling of satisfaction at drawing the line and achieving it.
no subject
Date: 2004-07-04 04:12 am (UTC)AND
they argue with me!!!