a lovely weekend
Nov. 7th, 2004 03:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mrsbrownI went on a holiday yesterday.
Gee, I enjoyed doing the dishes, preparing food, tidying up and sewing a jumper for T. My later tasks of deep and meaningful chat with G and console small boy were nice in their way too.
I went to a place where I could be just domestic mother, and not be overwhelmed by my other roles: renovator mother, career mother, community activist mother, making stuff mother or "I just want to play with my computer/web-page/wiki" mother.
I've been thinking lately about what I did in my twenties, when I worked towards my engineering degree, had three children, participated in my community (president of toy library and treasurer of Kinder) and lived in an unrenovated house that gradually changed state. I got a lot of kudos out of doing those things - I still occasionally brag about it, and people then and now, are awfully impressed.
But what am I doing now? I don't think I'm letting myself achieve at that level anymore. And while that's probably a good thing, I worry that I'm selling myself short and I could be achieving more.
I think it was easier then. My life was more compartmentalised. When I was being domestic mother, that's all I could do - they were too small to ignore and housework with kids around is easy. When I was student mother, I had a set amount of time to do it (while the kids were in childcare) and I just worked as hard as I could. Community activist mother was a great escape from getting kids ready for bed or dealing with MTB. I'm not sure about the renovating bit, although when you organise your mother to look after children, prepare and drive them to her place and drive home again, you WILL use that time effectively, because it cost you so much to get it. (Besides, it's hard to admit to someone doing you that sort of favour, that you wasted the time reading or having sex or something)
Perhaps I could lower my general stress levels if I could just remember my mantra, "Calmly and Efficiently, One thing at a time" and stop thinking about work while I'm cooking, or renovating while I'm showering, or organising feasts while I'm at work. Maybe I could insert some artificial compartments, and allocate real time to renovating and community activism so I stop wasting time just worrying about them.
Gee, I enjoyed doing the dishes, preparing food, tidying up and sewing a jumper for T. My later tasks of deep and meaningful chat with G and console small boy were nice in their way too.
I went to a place where I could be just domestic mother, and not be overwhelmed by my other roles: renovator mother, career mother, community activist mother, making stuff mother or "I just want to play with my computer/web-page/wiki" mother.
I've been thinking lately about what I did in my twenties, when I worked towards my engineering degree, had three children, participated in my community (president of toy library and treasurer of Kinder) and lived in an unrenovated house that gradually changed state. I got a lot of kudos out of doing those things - I still occasionally brag about it, and people then and now, are awfully impressed.
But what am I doing now? I don't think I'm letting myself achieve at that level anymore. And while that's probably a good thing, I worry that I'm selling myself short and I could be achieving more.
I think it was easier then. My life was more compartmentalised. When I was being domestic mother, that's all I could do - they were too small to ignore and housework with kids around is easy. When I was student mother, I had a set amount of time to do it (while the kids were in childcare) and I just worked as hard as I could. Community activist mother was a great escape from getting kids ready for bed or dealing with MTB. I'm not sure about the renovating bit, although when you organise your mother to look after children, prepare and drive them to her place and drive home again, you WILL use that time effectively, because it cost you so much to get it. (Besides, it's hard to admit to someone doing you that sort of favour, that you wasted the time reading or having sex or something)
Perhaps I could lower my general stress levels if I could just remember my mantra, "Calmly and Efficiently, One thing at a time" and stop thinking about work while I'm cooking, or renovating while I'm showering, or organising feasts while I'm at work. Maybe I could insert some artificial compartments, and allocate real time to renovating and community activism so I stop wasting time just worrying about them.
