other people's blogs

[mrsbrown]

I'm feeling really angry about the stuff someone else has written in her blog.

It's been building up, because she's been bagging stuff I hold dear fairly regularly, without being constructive or doing anything to make it better. Just expecting that she can keep coming along, smiling at everyone and making them her friend and then bagging the whole thing later and encouraging others to do the same.

I strongly believe that everyone should write what they want in their blog, and I try really hard to remember that what they write is different to what they do and that's what I should judge them on.

But I'm having trouble with this one.

Comments

[basal-surge.livejournal.com]

What they write _is what they do too_ for writing is also doing something, so it can be included in the judgement of their actions.

But it's not worth a blogwar about. Is this the same person that has caused Erudito to temporarily leave the SCA, or another person? Please tell me to #@@#% off if I'm being nosey, but I'm starved of social contact in the Top End at the moment...

[mrsbrown.livejournal.com]

Not Erudito's problem.

What they write in their blog is not necessarily what they do. Blog's have an intimacy/immediacy/unfiltered brain to finger connection that is different to how we deal with stuff face to face or even in writing directly to an individual.

I won't have a blogwar about it. If she can write what she wants in her blog, so can I :)

[basal-surge.livejournal.com]

Well, she can write what she wants in her blog, and you in yours, but a blog is still public action, so if it's derogatory, she can probably expect repercussions.

[nobble.livejournal.com]

Here here. We all should write what we want. It's our vehicle to express ourselves and no judgement should be applied. Good for you for letting out the steam. Not good to let it build up.

[doushkasmum.livejournal.com]

This is unfortunately a common pattern, to come along and then bag stuff later. It annoys me too, and I also don't know the best thing to do about it.

Indeed

[celsa.livejournal.com]

I've found a few personality revelations when reading blogs. Sorry if this is annoyingly Pollyana-ish, but if what I read is alarming, aggravating or disappointing, I'm usually grateful (in the long run) for the heads-up because it were not for blogs, I'd have to take these capricious individuals at face value. That might be unfortunate given their true thoughts are at such sharp variance to the attitude they present in person.

Ooh - tangent - I hope I can come to Training and Baronial Meeting this evening and catch up with the news and y'all. It's been ages!

Re: Indeed

[pearl]

I've tried three times to write something profound about your comment, since it's struck something in me... it just must have been the incoherent verbal diarrhoea switch.

But, I second what mrsbrown says about the blog being the intimate/internal monologue that a well-written letter to your friends wouldn't. It may be that a person sees themselves as being bigger and more aggressive than what they are in the real world, or that they have a greater sense of self-importance than what the average person would think.

Re: Indeed

[celsa.livejournal.com]

I agree that what a person writes is not necessarily a complete representation of the real life person's approach to life. I regularly rant wildly, run hysterically in circles and snark in blog posts in a way that I... try not to in real life. In fact, I put a lot of things down in blogs just so that they don't drive me (and anyone who speaks to me) to distraction. Some really raw stuff comes out in text that would not make it as far as being spoken, for good or ill.

But where the bitching is about identifiable individuals, events or groups, there are definitely more constructive and polite channels to direct my energies down, and I hope that I'm right when I say that I probably manage to do that much of the time. Other people may choose a different course of action, in which case I take the information on board as another facet of their personality, just as I would if I heard, or overheard, them say those things in real life, but I also try to do allow for the fact that blogs are used differently by different people, and that text lacks nuance etc.

And I keep coming to the conclusion that humans are confusing.

Re: Indeed

[splodgenoodles.livejournal.com]

I use certain places for thoughts that don't have a space otherwise. They aren't more or less true, they just have to go somewhere.

When I first started blogging it wasn't social (not in my eyes anyway), whereas now it's very much an extension of existing networks rather than a separate space.

[hnpcc]

she's been bagging stuff I hold dear fairly regularly, without being constructive or doing anything to make it better.

Oh God, it's me and the public transport system, isn't it? ;-)

[splodgenoodles.livejournal.com]

*checks back through own LJ*
*breathes sigh of relief*

Of course, there is always that question of what people are using their blog for and whether they intend for their words to be taken a certain way.

Random personal thoughts cf. deliberate communication with others.

My private diary is where I put the thoughts that have no place elsewhere, thoughts that I don't know what to do with, so they aren't really a reflection of what I *really* think.

Mind you, that's why my private diary is private...

[splodgenoodles.livejournal.com]

Actually, I just reread your post.

and encouraging others to do the same.

That sucks. And pretty much negates much of what I wrote in my first comment.

[quatrefoil.livejournal.com]

Is it my Catholic guilt to think you mean me? Cause I know that I've been banging on about the same stuff without fixing it for a long time, but in my more rational moments I think that since I live in another state and don't play SCA, it's probably not all about me this time ...

[mrsbrown.livejournal.com]

definately catholic guilt :)

[astemudfoot.livejournal.com]

Sometimes people write stuff that is meant to be amusing and often is to part of their audience, but not all. It might be written with a particularly derogatory or negative slant for effect and entertainment value. They may not actually intend to be hurtful or negative, or think so poorly of the situation, but by taking some artistic license in order to entertain they inadvertently come across as more harsh than they actually are.

If it really upsets you, enough that you would post publicly about it (I can't tell if this is friends-locked, correct me if I'm wrong), I would recommend you talk to them in person and resolve the situation.

I know you were venting and not asking for advice, and that's what LJ is for. But sorry, you got it anyways. :)