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Answering my own question
Sep. 5th, 2006 08:18 amFirst, I believe that being a parent is not about being the best or making the best choices all the time; It's about making good choices as often as possible.
Breastfeeding is one of those choices we all have. But it's not really something we genuinely choose; we are influenced by the society we live in and the institutional support we are provided with.
I've been supporting my sister since the birth of her baby and I'm quite angry at the system (you might have noticed).
My sister (HH) did everything she could do to make sure the breastfeeding thing happened for her, within the limits of the system. She read books while she was pregnant, she breastfed within minutes of delivery and she stayed in hospital as long as she could so that she could get all the advice she could. These are the experiences she has had which would make other women choose to stop breastfeeding;
Her husband had not really had experience of breastfeeding. When the baby cried (and she did, mostly) his first instinct was to undermine HH and tell her she wasn't making enough milk.
When the baby didn't put on weight (30g in a week) the maternal and child health nurse suggested that she start supplementing with formula.
The maternal and child health nurse IGNORED the tongue-tie that was mentioned in HH's discharge notes and NEVER suggested it might be a reason for Emily's poor feeding.
When the baby put on "only" 100g the following week, the M&CH nurse suggested that HH was endangering Emily by not supplementing with formula.
The M&CH nurse ignored the other measures HH was putting in place - fixing tongue tie, going to a lactation consultant, feeding two hourly - and focussed on the low weight gaiin, making HH feel terrible.
HH has always been in control, she has to adjust to her new lack of control.
Her husband bought a tin of formula and put it in the pantry.
The disapproval she got from important people like her mother when she resolved her sleep problems by sleeping with the baby
I've been the person on the end of the phone every time she's had Emily weighed, I've been the one suggesting alternatives to supplementing with formula and I'm the one who's gone to her home, scolded her husband and made her snack food so she can concentrate on feeding the baby. I've also given her web links to the Australian Breastfeeding Association and other information on the web.
I'm really annoyed to think that other women don't have someone like me. I'm also annoyed that our health system means that HH needed someone like me. Not because it's unreasonable for new mothers to have family support, but because the system claims responsibility for the support of breastfeeding and then undermines it.
Breastfeeding is one of those choices we all have. But it's not really something we genuinely choose; we are influenced by the society we live in and the institutional support we are provided with.
I've been supporting my sister since the birth of her baby and I'm quite angry at the system (you might have noticed).
My sister (HH) did everything she could do to make sure the breastfeeding thing happened for her, within the limits of the system. She read books while she was pregnant, she breastfed within minutes of delivery and she stayed in hospital as long as she could so that she could get all the advice she could. These are the experiences she has had which would make other women choose to stop breastfeeding;
Her husband had not really had experience of breastfeeding. When the baby cried (and she did, mostly) his first instinct was to undermine HH and tell her she wasn't making enough milk.
When the baby didn't put on weight (30g in a week) the maternal and child health nurse suggested that she start supplementing with formula.
The maternal and child health nurse IGNORED the tongue-tie that was mentioned in HH's discharge notes and NEVER suggested it might be a reason for Emily's poor feeding.
When the baby put on "only" 100g the following week, the M&CH nurse suggested that HH was endangering Emily by not supplementing with formula.
The M&CH nurse ignored the other measures HH was putting in place - fixing tongue tie, going to a lactation consultant, feeding two hourly - and focussed on the low weight gaiin, making HH feel terrible.
HH has always been in control, she has to adjust to her new lack of control.
Her husband bought a tin of formula and put it in the pantry.
The disapproval she got from important people like her mother when she resolved her sleep problems by sleeping with the baby
I've been the person on the end of the phone every time she's had Emily weighed, I've been the one suggesting alternatives to supplementing with formula and I'm the one who's gone to her home, scolded her husband and made her snack food so she can concentrate on feeding the baby. I've also given her web links to the Australian Breastfeeding Association and other information on the web.
I'm really annoyed to think that other women don't have someone like me. I'm also annoyed that our health system means that HH needed someone like me. Not because it's unreasonable for new mothers to have family support, but because the system claims responsibility for the support of breastfeeding and then undermines it.
