Managing the guilt
Jul. 2nd, 2009 08:02 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mrsbrownI wouldn't be surprised if I've posted about this before - I've been blogging since 2003 and everytime I back up my journal I notice that the same themes come up, time and again.
Anyway, today I have to feel guilty. I'm not going to my place of paid employment today (I can't say I'm not working). Either I was going to feel guilty because I was at work but not paying attention, or I get to feel guilty about not being there. Failing the guilt is not an option.
I've come to this decision after spending yesterday aternoon finalising the shopping list. I sat down for "an hour after lunch" and finished as the AC went off at 5pm (building management obviously don't know how to adjust the timeclock for daylight savings). Then I started thinking that I was going to have to take this afternoon off to do some things, and then realised that I was going to be in late because of some other things I have to do this morning, AND I'm meeting Villana for lunch to collect the bulk purchasing card, and I realised I'd be better off to be up front with my colleagues about what to expect. Oh well, they gotthree two and a half days of work out of me they weren't going to get last week. And I'll have a better time this way.
Now I can spend the time I need to avoid feeling guilty about Baroness stuff I need to do. And the cooking thing of course.
It's funny. When I was an adolescent my mum complained that I never seemed to feel guilty. I don't think that's true. I just hide my emotions and then get headaches, coldsores, tummy upsets, insomnia and earache.
Oh yes, look! Reverse documentation for my outfit tomorrow!
Anyway, today I have to feel guilty. I'm not going to my place of paid employment today (I can't say I'm not working). Either I was going to feel guilty because I was at work but not paying attention, or I get to feel guilty about not being there. Failing the guilt is not an option.
I've come to this decision after spending yesterday aternoon finalising the shopping list. I sat down for "an hour after lunch" and finished as the AC went off at 5pm (building management obviously don't know how to adjust the timeclock for daylight savings). Then I started thinking that I was going to have to take this afternoon off to do some things, and then realised that I was going to be in late because of some other things I have to do this morning, AND I'm meeting Villana for lunch to collect the bulk purchasing card, and I realised I'd be better off to be up front with my colleagues about what to expect. Oh well, they got
Now I can spend the time I need to avoid feeling guilty about Baroness stuff I need to do. And the cooking thing of course.
It's funny. When I was an adolescent my mum complained that I never seemed to feel guilty. I don't think that's true. I just hide my emotions and then get headaches, coldsores, tummy upsets, insomnia and earache.
Oh yes, look! Reverse documentation for my outfit tomorrow!
