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mrsbrownMy gardener sacked me today.
She says I didn't renew my contract - She only wants clients who adore her, thank her and pay her on time, without reminders.
Interestingly, she offered to work in my garden years ago, and I didn't want her to because she's a good friend, with strong opinions on how I should run my life, and I didn't want the obligation her gardening would require of me. Then we moved a little apart and for my wedding gift (I wrote weeding gift first) she completely cleaned up my weed infested front garden. I thought we had enough distance established that it would work, and I thought it was.
No, I didn't get the direct deposit I promised organised. I've said before, my budgeting and finances have been a mess for the last 6 months.
And no, I haven't paid her much attention in the last year. I'm busy with other stuff, we don't have much in common anymore, now our children don't go to the same schools/kindergartens, and as I said, she has strong opinions on how I should run my life.
Unfortunately, she doesn't see (and that's ok) the times I thought about her, or about visiting her. Or that I've pulled up weeds and watered plants in my front yard, not because I give a particular damn about the plants in my yard, but because I don't want her to come back to work in a mess of weeds and dead plants after her christmas break.
Now I'm trying to work out if I want to redeem myself with her. Write her a nice note, ask her to dinner, promise to set up the direct deposit AND do it. Or maybe I should just get a new gardener, someone happy to just turn up without seeing me and get paid electronically.
To be honest, part of the problem is that I do most of my friend/life organisation electronically and my friend doesn't. So I have to make more effort with her. That, and I'm a slack type when it comes to phone calls and interruptions to the plans I have made or obsessions I'm in.
I probably won't see her again until after Festival and I didn't see her during my holidays at christmas because I was obsessed by the dress I was making then.
She says I didn't renew my contract - She only wants clients who adore her, thank her and pay her on time, without reminders.
Interestingly, she offered to work in my garden years ago, and I didn't want her to because she's a good friend, with strong opinions on how I should run my life, and I didn't want the obligation her gardening would require of me. Then we moved a little apart and for my wedding gift (I wrote weeding gift first) she completely cleaned up my weed infested front garden. I thought we had enough distance established that it would work, and I thought it was.
No, I didn't get the direct deposit I promised organised. I've said before, my budgeting and finances have been a mess for the last 6 months.
And no, I haven't paid her much attention in the last year. I'm busy with other stuff, we don't have much in common anymore, now our children don't go to the same schools/kindergartens, and as I said, she has strong opinions on how I should run my life.
Unfortunately, she doesn't see (and that's ok) the times I thought about her, or about visiting her. Or that I've pulled up weeds and watered plants in my front yard, not because I give a particular damn about the plants in my yard, but because I don't want her to come back to work in a mess of weeds and dead plants after her christmas break.
Now I'm trying to work out if I want to redeem myself with her. Write her a nice note, ask her to dinner, promise to set up the direct deposit AND do it. Or maybe I should just get a new gardener, someone happy to just turn up without seeing me and get paid electronically.
To be honest, part of the problem is that I do most of my friend/life organisation electronically and my friend doesn't. So I have to make more effort with her. That, and I'm a slack type when it comes to phone calls and interruptions to the plans I have made or obsessions I'm in.
I probably won't see her again until after Festival and I didn't see her during my holidays at christmas because I was obsessed by the dress I was making then.
no subject
Date: 2005-02-01 02:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-01 03:00 am (UTC)It's always good, imho, if you grow apart from someone, to keep the option of growing back available.
she has strong opinions on how I should run my life.
I know someone like that, I just have to remember to tell her to back off occasionally, and everything's fine. ;)
no subject
Date: 2005-02-01 07:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-01 08:15 pm (UTC)My reading of the 'Complete Idiots Guide to Breaking Bad Habits' suggests to me that you have exhibited the teensiest bit of passive aggression in your "forgetting". [Most of us are guilty of this one... blame the hectic pace of modern life]
I'm wondering whether you unconsciously hoped getting the relationship on a professional level would put you in a position to protect yourself emotionally from Gardner?
IMHO keeping the options of future friendship open... while not actually repursuing the gardening work with her... might be the safest bet. Rather than grovel and get her back, you could always just send a note apologising and commenting you realise your garden is just not a major priority right now... and perhaps you got a little carried away by her abiding love of plants (and talent with same)? Oh... also that you're sorry you seem to have jerked her around which was not your intent.
If you can't say something along those lines with a straight face... something else is going on.
Wow... other people's dilemmas always seem SOOOO much CLEARER than mine.
no subject
Date: 2005-02-02 01:24 am (UTC)Oh god, you''re right.
Date: 2005-02-02 02:42 am (UTC)That's been compounded by the fact that I am just a schmuck who can't cope with too many friends at once, so I tend to drop them rather than make the effort to maintain them all.
Also, you have got me a bit worried with this passive-aggressive thing. I've always blamed someone else in my life for that - with the implication that I don't indulge in that sort of thing.
I was wrong. Now you mention it, I'm passive aggressive ALL THE TIME!! (or is it like other internet diagnoses, and once you've read the symptoms, you recognise them all?)
Re: Oh god, you''re right.
Date: 2005-02-02 03:51 am (UTC)That's quite funny really. And don't worry, everyone does it occasionally. (And methinks alot of what gets called P.A is what we do when we are uncertain about how to proceed.)
I think I've kind of noticed what you're describing about not coping with too many friends at once. Which is a shame because you're so good at it(which might be precisely why you can't handle too many at once, putting so much into the ones you do have), and because the other person concerned strikes me as a good friend to have.
She's a thoughtful woman who cares about her friends. Rather unfortunately, she dropped off your radar but you didn't drop off hers, leading to this sorry situation.
I'd wondered why she wasn't at Christmas Eve. One low stress way to include her in your life, perhaps? It's not like she doesn't mix well.
Re: Oh god, you''re right.
Date: 2005-02-02 07:16 am (UTC)She was invited, but had already organised to have drinks with other friends. We were going to get together for lunch between christmas and new year, but I got obsessed with dress making. Mostly, I just have/find other things to do than visit her, but we will get together sometime. If nothing else, all this talking about her means I'm more likely to drop over for a cuppa sometime.