Pink - it's just not that important

[mrsbrown]

I've written before about my experiences with gender in small children.  And today there was another article bemoaning the wearing of pink by girls and the constraint of options they have and how they are described by society and I was reminded of an epiphany I had recently.

We were at Rose's new school and I met one the children from Rose's kinder. Her name was gender neutral and she was dressed in "boy's clothes".  I was fascinated by her because I was feeling really guilty that I hadn't managed to dress Rose that way - for a long time.

And then I looked again.  Yes, Rose was wearing pink.  A pink t-shirt, purple hoody and jeans with pink butterflies embroidered on it.  She was wearing sensible shoes.  She was wearing the same clothes as the other child. And she was sitting on the car mat playing trucks with her best friend - a boy.

Rose is generally dressed for comfort,  she can move easily in her clothes and she enjoys playing with fairy wands AND trucks.  Also, I don't generally buy any of her clothes new, so I get greeny points too.

Maybe worrying about girl's fascination with pink is sidetracking people from the real issue?  Our girls children should be able to wear whatever they want  to be comfortable and express their personality.  They should also play with whatever toys they want to - princess tiaras or trucks.  The colour is irrelevant.

Comments

$0.02

[catsidhe]

We didn't push any stereotypes on our girls. Certainly there was no move to impose anything particularly girly on them: indeed, there was a deliberate aversion to Barbie and Bratz (hawk, *spit*).

It didn't make a lick of difference. Both girls had a period where their favourite colour was pink. Miss S is firmly still in that stage. They demanded, and eventually got, Disney princess Barbies, and draw mermaid princess fairies until we run out of paper.

Miss A has grown out of the pink stage. So will Miss S... maybe. But the point is that they're happy. No-one is forcing them to do it (quite the opposite, sometimes). Maybe part of well-adjusted childhood is not forcing stereotypes on kids, but not worrying too much if they try them on themselves.

Saying that it's OK for boys to like pink and for girls to play with trucks (which, of course, it is) shouldn't mean that it's worrying for girls to like pink and boys to play with trucks.

[lederhosen]

When I was about five, I decided I wanted a ballerina doll. My parents never once said "that's a strange thing for a boy to want", they just applied the same rules as to anything else I asked for, and when I was good I got the doll. I think I lost interest in it pretty soon after, as kids do. But bless 'em for being sensible about this.

[inspiral_rose]

I never went through a pink phase. I definitely think clothes for kids are much more colour coded than when we were kids. And while comfort is terrific, I think the narrowness of choice for girls AND boys is an issue. I want both to have access to the rainbow. Also, this perpetuates binaries and contributes to transphobia. I'll try for a longer more considered post on this later.

[mrsbrown]

Yes, clothes are much more colour coded than when we were kids and that's worth agitating about and making people think about that.

OTOH, I think the role models and opportunities our children have are more important than the clothes we grab out of the clean washing basket to keep them comfortable and non-naked.

The important people in the lives of my children wear the clothes they like to wear and do the stuff they want to do - regardless of the associated stereotype. And now so do my own children - the older ones. (I think).

I'm concerned that we can get so caught up in fighting the stereotypes our children are presented with that we devalue the girly girls who wear pink. We need to be careful of putting those children into a box - they too may become engineers (with high heels*, pink tutu and fairy wings)

What I'm saying is; I'm going to stop worrying about what colour clothes my child chooses to wear and I'm going to make sure she runs, jumps, plays with trucks and sand and dolls and fairy wands and bubble mix and computers.

*Actually, I think that high heels for anyone younger than 12 should be banned and those plastic ones for 4 yr olds should be put in the same category as toy guns

[alliette_d]

I'm concerned that we can get so caught up in fighting the stereotypes our children are presented with that we devalue the girly girls who wear pink. We need to be careful of putting those children into a box

That was exactly what I was thinking when I read your post. We have to be careful to not de-value things because they are associated with being female or girly. And at the same time to make sure not to impose stereotypes on children. Its a hard balance, isn't it? Not helped by the fact that children are targets of gendered advertising and media.

High heels come into a different category - they are not just about girliness, they are about sexualising children. Discouraging/banning them sounds like a very good idea to me!

[enrobso]

If Rose would like a pink and purple lunch-box with a fairy on it, one has recently found its way into my hands.

I'm not a parent, but I think kids should be allowed to choose and if little girls want to be girly, they should be allowed to.

And if little girls want to take a Star Wars drink bottle to school, they should also be allowed to and supported.