mrsbrown: (Default)
Rose just asked me if her dog was still at the Vet's.

When I explained that we took her there so the vet would put her to sleep and then she'd died and been buried, Rose burst into tears and talked about how she wanted her dog back.

She made me cry.
mrsbrown: (Default)
Binka's death went quite well. It was as peaceful as the vet assured us it would be. We were all there, although Sneetch didn't stay in the room while she died but came in later and MrPeacock is at Kapooka.

Just as the vet said all those months ago, my adolescent child told me that I was making the wrong decision and my smallest child just sort of hung around without making a huge fuss.

The vet's were very understanding; the appointment was after their normal clinic time- so there was noone else around, they administered the drug with a long canula so we could huddle around her while it took effect and they left us alone for as long as we needed to stay to say goodbye. We even took some photos in case MrPeacock wants to see them. I sent him a few of the ones we took yesterday before going to the Vet's, along with the news.

Yesterday afternoon I raced around preparing my children so I can feel comfy leaving them in their first week of school - we bought a bunch of stationary and stocked up on food. I should have packed more but I can't seem to get my head into it. And the whole time I've been stopping occasionally to look at the spots Binka would normally lie, or to think about the fact that we don't own a dog anymore. At one point I thought I heard her dog tags rattle as she came to check out what I was doing.

Then overnight we realised that we didn't have to leave the back door open, that we don't have to worry about the cat food anymore and that when heading to the toilet in the middle of the night we don't have to worry about where Binka is sleeping so we can carefully step over her. We obviously stepped over her a lot, she never flinched, no matter how close to her nose you put your foot.

I'm dreading coming home from NZ to a house without her.


Jan. 31st, 2009 11:01 am
mrsbrown: (parenting)
There's no one posting to keep me entertained so I will. Although it won't be entertaining.

I'm sitting at the kitchen table waiting for it to be time to take Binka to the vet for the last time. We have an appointment at 11.15am.

While she seems almost normal she's breathing too fast and it's noisy as the air whistles through the obstruction in her nostrils.

She's quiet, preferring to lie out flat rather than paying attention to what's happening. And when we open the gate, she walks rather runs to greet us.

If we were home for the next week, I'd just watch her and wait a little, but we're not. And MsNotaGoth doesn't need the concern during her first week of school.

I met a good friend at the market this morning. As she said, the sooner I choose the more likely it is that Binka will have the death I'd prefer.

I guess that's what I'm doing.
mrsbrown: (domestic goddess)
We just got back from the vet.

The mouth and stitches are all fine.

We discussed euthanasia, in fact we had the full grieving talk - how Rose will respond, deciding who makes the decision, how the teenagers will respond and how to dispose of the body.

I'm inclined to pay someone else to bury her. It's the most environmentally friendly option and we don't have to dig a really big hole.

He thought it could be as early as a week, or as much as a month, and we need to assess her daily to see if it's time.

We're supposed to be off to Adelaide on the weekend, with [ profile] charlesnaismith staying home to feed and medicate her. I think we'll decide on Thursday morning if we can still go.
mrsbrown: (Default)
Binka update: She's having her teeth extracted tomorrow, the abscess will be cleaned out and the infected lump on her rump will be removed. The lump on her face might be cancer, if it is she might be around for a shorter than expected time. Otherwise, she'll be around for a couple more months. When I asked myself if I would pay $100 per week for her to have a comfy end of life, the answer was yes. The vet was on my wavelength and was all about making her comfortable for whatever life she has left. I'll miss Binka when she's gone.

And here's a funny video of the Cassandra Bransle I saw this morning.
mrsbrown: (Default)
Binka has an abscess on her tooth and multiple skin tumours. She's been losing weight and her head is now a funny shape.

If we fix the abscess she might live for 6 months. The skin tumours and loss of weight mean that she might just have something awful wrong that means she'll only live for a few more weeks even if we fix the abscess.

But the antibiotics don't seem to be making her any more lively and she didn't greet me at the gate after work yesterday or today. I think she's spent the day on the couch and hasn't even moved to get into the sun.

The vet wants us to decide what to do by Wednesday or Thursday.
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